Addicted (A Billionaire Romance Novel) Page 10

  “Oh. I was wondering if you’d like to go to dinner tonight. I have something that I have to do real fast, but I can pick you up in about an hour.”

  “Eh, I don’t feel like eating,” she said, reaching for her aluminum foil to smoke some more dope.

  “Did you already have dinner?” he asked, looking at his watch. It was only 5 PM.

  “No, but I haven’t had much of an appetite,” she answered.

  “Did you want to hang out later?” he offered.

  “Whatever you want to do,” she said, lying her head on the arm of the couch.

  “You don’t sound like you want company,” he said, hoping that she would ask him to come over.

  “I’d rather be alone, actually.”

  “All right. I guess I’ll go home then. If you change your mind and feel like having company, just let me know.”

  “Bye,” she said, hanging up the phone.

  That was different; it wasn’t like Audrey at all, he thought. She always wanted him around. He wondered what had changed. Maybe I’ve put up such a wall that she’s began building a wall of her own to shut me out, to prevent herself from getting hurt. I’ll give her some space to see if that helps.

  Chapter Nine

  After giving Audrey a few days alone and sending her a couple of text messages, nothing had changed. She was still distancing herself away from him and giving him the cold shoulder. Grasping at straws, he decided that it was time to tell her what was going on in his life with Kayla and Christina. Figuring if he let her in on what was going on, she’d be accepting and understanding as to why he’d been putting her off lately. It was his last chance to make things right between them; he didn’t want her to get away again.

  Since she’d been so evasive, Chad decided to catch her as she was getting off of work. Knowing that she worked the evening shift on Wednesday’s, he headed to Fast Fuel as she was getting off of work. The sight of Audrey shocked him. He’d only seen her a week ago, but she looked drab. Her eyes were sunken in, her skin looked horrible and her clothes were dirty. Surprised by her appearance, Chad sat in the truck until she exited the front door.

  “Hey, Audrey!” he shouted, trying to sound cheerful. “I thought I’d come see you.”

  “Hi,” she weakly replied, tossing a load of dirty rags that were contained in a large, black trash bag into her backseat.

  “What was that?” Chad asked.

  “Oh, I need some extra money so Caroline told me that I could do the laundry this week for a few bucks. Haley generally takes them home and washes them, but I’m doing it instead.”

  “Audrey, if you need money, all you have to do is say something. How much do you need?” he began taking out his wallet.

  “I don’t want your money, Chad,” she said, shaking her head as she pushed his wallet away.

  “Listen, I know I’ve been kind of shitty towards you lately, but I’d like to talk,” he looked around. “In private. Can we go back to your place? I’ll keep you company while you do the laundry.”

  She sighed, “I guess. Follow me to my house,” she said, getting into her car.

  When they reached Audrey’s house, Chad became nervous as he thought about how she’d react to the news about Kayla. He was scared, his hands were shaky and his throat kept catching. Wiping his sweaty palms on his pant legs, he carried the large trash bag of dirty rags inside for her.

  “Just sit them over there,” Audrey said, pointing into the kitchen where her utility closet was.

  “Can we talk?” Chad asked. It was driving him insane for them to act like total strangers.

  “About what?” Audrey casually asked as she measured out a cup of soap powder.

  “There’s some things that I’d like to talk to you about. I’m not sure how you’re going to take them, but hear me out, please.”

  “I’m listening,” she said, dumping the rags into the washing machine.

  She’s not going to make this easy, he thought.

  “Okay. A couple of weeks ago, I was served some court papers at work,” he paused.

  Audrey shot a wicked glance at him, wondering where this was going.

  “They were for child support,” he continued.

  Audrey held her hand in the air as to shut him up as she shook her head. “It was for what?” she demanded.

  “Child support. Apparently, I have a daughter, and her name is Kayla. I never knew about her until I was served those papers. Believe me, Audrey, I wanted to tell you; I just didn’t know how. I’ve been hiding her from you.”

  “You’ve been hiding a child from me?” she was shocked, hurt, and angry and confused. “How could you do such a thing?”

  “Audrey, I know. I wanted to tell you sooner; I really did. I had no idea how you’d react or what you’d think of me,” he said, hanging his head in shame.

  “You know Chad, you’ve done some pretty fucked up things, but this has to be the lowest. You’re such an asshole! Do you think I’m some kind of monster or something? Jesus! What is wrong with you?” she screamed, stomping her foot on the floor.

  “Here’s the thing, Audrey, I’m filing for joint custody. I’d like you to be a part of her life….if you want to be,” he carefully added.

  “Get out! Get out of my house right now! Chad Wetzel, I’ve had enough of you!”

  “Audrey, please, baby. I’m begging you,” he pleaded with her.

  “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass!” she yelled at him as she walked down the hall to her bedroom.

  Not knowing what else to do, Chad stood there for a moment, hoping she’d calm down and come back. After two or three minutes, he felt foolish standing in her living room, so he left. Once he was out in his truck, he sent her a text message begging for forgiveness. She didn’t respond. He sent one final text before driving off.

  Audrey, I know that I messed up. Please, talk to me. I don’t want this to come between us. I’m sorry.

  When Audrey received the text, her eyes filled with tears. She was so conflicted. One minute he was ignoring her, and the next he was asking her to help him raise a child. A child that he hid from her. She smirked. He’s sure got some balls, doesn’t he? Why would he spring this on me now? Can’t he tell that I’m a total wreck? Alex’s death anniversary is next week; of course, he probably doesn’t even remember it. I can’t deal with this anymore.

  Sitting on her bed, she balled herself into a fetal position and began rocking and forth. Seeking another rush, she grabbed her aluminum foil and smack; I just have to get high, she told herself. Reaching for her lighter, she began lighting up the foil. Inhaling the chemical taste, she could feel herself relaxing again. She continued chasing the dragon until she was too high to smoke any more heroin and drifted off to sleep.

  The next morning, she awoke to several pleading text messages from Chad and one voicemail. Curious as to what he had to say, she pressed and held the one-key on her phone’s keypad to listen to the recorded message.

  “Audrey, I’m sorry that I screwed up so bad. Please, forgive me. I didn’t know how to tell you; and even when I did, I was scared. I didn’t think you’d take it so badly. Call me when you get this.”

  Too little, too late, she thought to herself as she deleted the message. I tried chasing him in college, and it got me nowhere. I’m not doing that again. Knowing that she didn’t have to be at work until later that night for her graveyard shift, she picked up another envelope of heroin and began smoking it. As her drugs wore off, she felt like crap. Thinking about Alex and his death anniversary was starting to take its toll on her. Chad certainly wasn’t helping matters either.

  Going into work that night, she thought a lot about Chad; and about Alex. She didn’t know what she was going to do about the situation at hand, but she did know that she was miserable. For a moment, she thought about calling Chad but backed down when she realized that it was almost three in the morning. What would I even say to him right now? She asked herself. I’m not even sure why I still care. He appa
rently doesn’t care for me. As the night wore on, her anger continued to grow, and it was beginning to test her limits.

  As soon as she got off work that morning, she went straight home and smoked some more heroin. It felt good; the rush that you take your first few hits. It was like meeting up with your greatest friend in the entire world, and there was nothing to break them apart. Her phone suddenly rang, startling her on the couch. She didn’t regularly receive phone calls at that time of morning. When she rolled over to answer the phone, she saw that it was Chad; and it wasn’t morning, it was afternoon. He was on his lunch break.

  “Hello?” she answered the phone annoyed.

  “Hey, Audrey, I know that you’re probably still mad at me, but….”

  She cut him off and began yelling at him.

  “I am! What do you want?”

  “I was calling to see if you’d heard the message that I left on your voicemail. I’m really sorry.”

  “Chad, I don’t want to talk to you right now. Remember when I told you that I almost relapsed?”

  “Yeah?” he asked, holding his breath as he expected to the worst.

  “Well, I’m almost at my breaking point,” she snapped, still hiding the fact that she was already using. “Right now, I need you to stop it. Stop everything! I can’t keep doing this with you, Chad.”

  “Doing what?” he asked, oblivious as to what she was referring to.

  “I can’t keep chasing you! I’m not going to hope and wait for you. I’ve done it before, but I’m not doing it now.”

  “Audrey, I don’t know….”

  The phone went silent. He knew he messed up, but her sudden rage and hostility let him know that he took things to a whole new level. Unsure of what he should do next, he figured the best thing would be to give her some time and space. With a little time, she’ll be able to think things over and realize that I’m not a bad guy; I was ashamed and didn’t know how to handle the situation. And hopefully, with some space, she won’t feel as though I’m breathing down her neck.

  Over the course of the next few days, Audrey was stunned when her phone was silent. No calls or text messages. Yep, she told herself, this is probably it. It’s the end; I just know it. That little weasel is probably out right now, reconciling with his baby’s momma. I can picture it. “Oh, baby momma, please, let’s be a family. I dumped that worthless girlfriend of mine.” I should’ve asked him what her name was. Knowing him, I probably know her. Nah, I probably wouldn’t. He’s high society, I wouldn’t know anyone in his circle of friends. Come to think of it, that actually raises another very interesting fact. He’s never introduced me to any of his buddies, family or colleagues.

  On the morning of Alex’s death anniversary, she used a sick day at work and went to the cemetery to visit his grave. Clearing it of all the weeds, she reached out and touched his marble headstone. Tracing the letters and numbers with her finger, she realized how much she had missed him since he died. Feeling isolated, she began hoping for bad things to happen. Maybe I’ll get into a car accident of my own when I leave here; then I can join my baby and see him on the other side. As these morbid thoughts entered her mind, she unknowingly planning her own funeral. She pictured a wooden coffin displaying her body as only her parents and sisters attended the funeral. Wondering if anyone else would even come, she tried to think of who else would come to her funeral. Haley, her coworker, probably would, she thought.

  There’s no point in living anymore. Who am I living for? Alex is gone; his tiny body lies beneath me, the grass that I’m sitting on. If I were going to kill myself, how would I do it? Realizing that she was contemplating suicide, she began to wonder if it hurts when you die. What does your last breath feel like? As she started to answer some of these questions, she made a decision. She would be better off with her son than on this planet called Earth.

  “I love you, baby. Mommy will see you soon,” she whispered to his grave as she kissed her fingers and touched his headstone.

  On her way home from the burial grounds, she deliberated how she would take her own life. A car accident was out of the question. That was how Alex died, and it was horrible to see his smashed, bruised body; she didn’t want to put her parents through that. She didn’t have any pills that were strong enough to do the job unless she swallowed a bottle or two of over-the-counter medication. That would take too much time. She supposed she could set a house fire, but she wanted her family to be able to have some of her things as keepsakes. That’s when it hit her; she could give herself a lethal dose of heroin and drift asleep, never to wake up again.

  Pulling up in front of her dealer’s house, she jumped out of the car and ran up to his door. Making a quick deal, she spent most of the money she had and bought what she needed. After she had her supply on hand, she knew she wouldn’t be able to smoke a lethal dose. It was impossible. She’d pass out before she could do it all. No, she would have to mainline it. Her next stop was at her local pharmacy. Once she was there, she marched into the store on a determined mission. Impatiently, she waited in line and asked the pharmacist for a pack of needles. The white-haired man suspiciously eyed her as he reached behind him to grab the box.

  “My sister’s diabetic and she asked me to pick some up for her on my way to her house,” she lied to the man.

  He nodded as he rang up the needles and gave her the total. After she had paid with the last of the money she had remaining, she swiped the pack off the counter and got back to her car. She sat in the parking lot for almost a half an hour as she realized this would be her last stop, besides home, that she’d ever see in her life again. Most of the day had been a whirlwind, but now, time seemed to stand still. As she sat in her car, she observed a mother and her son walking into the store, hand-in-hand. She felt a sharp jab in her chest.

  “That would’ve been Alex holding my hand if he were still here,” she whispered to herself as she clutched her heart.

  Unable to sit there any longer, she turned the key in her ignition and began heading home. Driving through town, she popped in one of her favorite CD’s, which was a compilation of various songs that she’d downloaded. The song she chose to play, which would be the last one she’d ever hear was the most appropriate one from the CD: Megadeath, “Use the Man”. The song had ended before she pulled up in front of her house; she listened to the lyrics one last time. As she sang them, tears streamed down her face.

  “I’ll see you in just a little while, baby,” she whispered up to the sun.

  As she sat down her purse and keys, her phone began ringing; it was Chad. She ignored the call as she unwrapped the syringe and opened the heroin. Realizing that she needed a plastic spoon to liquefy the heroin, she began digging through the junk drawer in her kitchen. As she searched for the spoon, her phone continued to ring off the hook. Every time she glanced down at it, she saw Chad’s name displayed on the screen of her cell phone. Finding the spoon that she needed, she grabbed a glass of water and a cotton ball from the bathroom medicine cabinet. Her phone continued to ring as she walked around gathering everything.

  “Stop calling me!” she screamed into the phone as she broke into tears and hung up on Chad.

  With the phone steadily ringing, she realized she’d forgotten the rubbing alcohol. She walked back into the bathroom to get the last of the supplies that she would need. Sitting down on the couch, she began to liquefy her dope. Trying to mix the black tar heroin with water inside the cradle of the spoon, her hands shook as the phone continued ringing in the background.

  “Oh, I wish he would stop calling me!” she screamed as she used the plunger from the syringe to stir the heroin into a suitable solution.

  Finally, the concoction was ready. Her wide eyes beamed at her handy work.

  “Ahh, welcome back, my friend,” she said as she dropped her cotton ball onto the spoon; allowing it to absorb all of the liquid heroin.

  Carefully grabbing the syringe, she placed the needle into the center of the cotton ball and began sucking
all of the heroin out of the cotton. With her needle completely full, she took off her belt and wrapped it tightly around the top of her arm. Her old track marks were still slightly visible; she decided that she would use one of them to guide the needle into her vein. Her eyes wickedly stared at the syringe filled with the lethal dose of heroin as she pumped her fists to make her veins stand out. She couldn’t wait to feel that last, final rush; the one that would reunite her with Alex. We can die together on the same day, she thought.

  As she picked the syringe up off the table, someone began pounding on her door. Afraid it was the police, she tried to quickly replace the orange cap back on the needle, but her front door busted open before she could finish.

  “Audrey!” Chad called to her, realizing what was in her hand. “Oh, God! No, Audrey, please don’t. Don’t do it,” he pleaded with her.